When We Were Younger…

Maybe life is like a wheel of fortune, or some says, like a rollercoaster. And suddenly it reminds me of Ronan Keating’s song “Life Is A Rollercoaster” which is released in about late 1990-early 2000, I don’t exactly remember. But, it was when I was in high school.

Right now, I have these pieces of memories. And I’m like an elephant, I have good memory. And my Chinese horoscope is Rat, which means somehow, my mind is restless, and when I remember about something, it will connect to anything related to the main thought. It often causes stress.

Last weekend I went to Soekarno-Hatta International Airport with my friends. And this thought began from it. Okay, it inspired me to write this post. But, it’s a depressed post, too bad. Just don’t read this post if you think that I’m pathetic. I just need to write this and share with you better than I bear it and causes stress and then I’d sick.

Well, the airport reminds me when I went to Bali when I was 3-4 years old. I don’t really remember exactly how it was because I was too young. But I already traveled to Bali 3 times. The most I remember is in late 2003, when I was about 19 years old and still as a college student. I went there with my family. My dad was still alive back then. We went through our journey with our white Kijang car and acrossed the island by ferry. During the road we went through, we were listening to Michael Learns To Rock Greatest Hits album. I went to Bali again in the next year with my cousins, my uncle and auntie. All I can remember was I was so happy. But the most impressive between them was when I traveled with my family in that late 2003. That was the last travel for my dad and family.

It’s about 6 years already since my dad’s death. And rite now I miss times where our family was still a whole. I was listening to the radio last night and it was oldies songs that remind me of my teenage life. I used to sing and almost every weekend we had karaoke at home. Or we played keyboard and sang all night long. Our white-brown cat, Rae, would distract us by jumped in to our embrace or just rubbed his head to our legs. I remember my Dad said, “Somebody who can’t sing means doesn’t know how to enjoy life”. My family was very into music. And I was the only one who like to compete and worked hard for music. I joined choir and vocal group in junior high and high school. But, you know what, I almost decided to quit singing after his death. No one supported me anymore after that. And I also thought music was not important anymore. My mom and I had a lot of things to do after his death, that we had to move on. We moved on for living, many things were more important than music. Mom had never played the music she likes such as The Corrs or Shania Twain anymore rite now. And I started to enjoy classical music (especially Beethoven) for a while but then I sticked to emo-hardcore-metal. And that means I didn’t have to really sing with some vocal tehcniques like in pop-blues-jazz music. And now I’m in the rock band but still we play some slow/rock pop/alternative like Bryan Adams or The Cranberries or Bon Jovi. I sing again now. Probably I have that courage again after I auditioned Indonesian Idol 2010 last year. It’s kind of relief. And last year when I went home (whatever that means) my mom asked, “Will you play the keyboard and sing again?”

And I remember that my dad was the one who like to took Rae the Cat to bathroom and bathe him. Rae and Dad had a special bond more than the rest member of the family to that cat. Dad had some special times to rub his fur; head, ears, neck, back, and stomach. And that cat had never complained.

I don’t want to remember the past actually. I want to move on. Life has changed and people changed too. But, I miss them a lot. I miss Dad. I miss the times when we were younger. I miss the times when I was just a kid. Back then, life was just simple, and apple and blackberry were just fruits…!

Oh, btw, rest in peace, Steve Jobs…

No more dental braces on my both teeth now…! Well, hello, retainers!

Peace for the world.

Listening to : Bad Meets Evil (Bruno Mars with Eminem) – Lighters


~ by Rizki on October 9, 2011.

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